It’s so easy to make relationships more complicated than they are. Society nowadays sets us up to believe in certain relationship stereotypes that make real life relationships quite hard. Especially along with individual stereotypes we all find it hard to just be ourselves instead we live up to something we think we should be. We have outlined some basic rules and truths about relationships that all should know:
1. It’s not a movie: Despite what all the love movies say and do, there is no guy out there that is going to save us. Of course, they can help us and support us but saving us from our own problems is not their job. You are in control of your own feelings and happiness, so don’t rely on them to always make you happy. This can put strain on the relationship and tear you apart.
2. If they do not agree they can still support: Many of us will think if they don’t agree with something we do or believe in, then this means they do not support us. This is not the case, everyone is entitled to their own opinions and someone can disagree but still support you all the way. So, if this is you, try not to hold a grudge if he just simply doesn’t agree.
3. Challenges: Coming across challenges in a relationship is not a sign to leave. Sometimes conflict in a relationship can turn south very quickly as you may think it’s easier to begin questioning the relationship itself and whether you want to be with your partner. But you must be willing to face the challenges head on in order to grow as an individual and as partners. You will learn to grow together and understand each other more.
4. Look in the mirror: Often in a relationship partners are very quick to look at what the other person is not doing, instead of evaluating what they’re giving to the relationship. Everything is an exchange in a relationship. It’s a two way system. If you’re not happy with yourself this can come out at your partner and cause conflict.
5. Where do arguments stem from: Majority of the time arguments stem from your own fear or pain. When arguments occur check, what’s going on with yourself first, as you may be reacting differently to normal if something else is on your mind.
6. Relationship killer: Anger. It’s a waste of time. Being angry in a relationship will make you self-absorbed and not able to see the good. If you’re annoyed with your partner give your self some time to calm down before approaching the situation. You may see clearer and sort everything out before it goes the other way.
7. Give to receive: Our relationship and self needs change all the time. But it’s up to us to keep up with the changes. If you want to feel more understood, try being more understanding. If you want to feel more loved, try giving it back more. Its simple, but really works.
8. It takes work: Relationships take hard work, they don’t just work out themselves. It has to be from a two way mutual ground. Take risks and always share what is going on in your heads and hearts. Listen to each other.
9. Appreciation: Every morning if you wake up next to your partner you must take the opportunity to make your relationship that little bit deeper by being affectionate to your partner. Just small simple words can make all the difference. Feeling respected and cherished by the one you love can make life much better.
10. Space: Always want to be with your partner? Don’t want to be apart from them at any point? Worried what they are doing? STOP! This is not healthy nor fair on your partner. You both need your own space doing activities and socialising in your own circles. After all, distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Date Posted: Friday 25th January 2019
Author: Charlotte Sneddon