Relentless party animal? Check. Wisecracker? Check. Mum who doesn't get out much? Check.
Make no mistake; The General is in charge. She's planned the entire hen weekend with military precision. If this was the '90s and we weren't all glued to our smartphones, she'd probably be carrying an actual clipboard. Think Helen from Bridesmaids. Cut her some slack, though. She might be a teensy weensy pain in the arse but she's also done all the jobs no one else wants to be stuck with. Like confirming numbers. Making sure everyone paid their share on time. All the buzzkill stuff. She'll book the restaurant and plan a bar crawl so you don't end up walking round in circles, hitting random places.
The one who actually remembered to pack painkillers, Party Feet, and a big bottle of water. She might even have bought rehydration salts from the chemist and will drink a pint of water before she goes to sleep that night. Mother hen is great because she'll be the one who holds your hair back to stop sick getting in it, and will wash out any rogue bits that do end up in there. And provide the necessary tea and sympathy the next day. She also knows a bunch of hangover cures that actually work and will be ok to drive you home by lunchtime. Worth her weight in gold.
She's cool. Very cool. The hipster can sniff out all those little gems of bars tucked away down side streets that no one else has a prayer of finding. And she can do it after a bunch of cocktails and shots. She'd been going to prohibition bars long before they became popular. She loves a festival, goes to gigs each month, and actually understands about new music. A great girl to have on the hen weekend if you like the idea of hitting a couple of quirky bars and clubs. If she was a celeb, she'd be Emma Watson, Lena Dunham or Zooey Deschanel.
Relentlessly positive, even in the face of certain disaster. If you go to Marbella and it rains on the day you're supposed to do the fabulous beach club, she'll find a way to make it fun. If you do something like high ropes and someone has a moment up there, she'll have them back in the game and monkeying around in minutes. Even if she is ever so slightly irritating, you can't help but be swept along in the tide of her positivity.
The Mum Who Doesn't Get Out Much
So she's going to make the most of every single second. Then collapse in a little ball because she hit it too hard, too early. She'll be fun for those four hours, though.
The Funny Girl
She's a wisecracker who will have you all in stitches from start to finish. But just like Deadpool, she can't resist the temptation to bust out a joke; even if gets you into hot water. You will laugh. You will cringe. You will unconsciously do the butt shuffle away from her when you're sitting in a bar and she tells the obnoxious drunk guy (who should really just be ignored): "Wow, you have kids! They actually let you reproduce?!" How do I know? Because this happened to me on me on hen weekend. Fortunately he was too drunk to get it.
The Free Spirit
Nothing and no one can tie her down. She's trekked in Nepal, done a stint as a travel writer, always volunteers to be on the cleanup crew for a natural disaster, somehow regularly donates to charity, and is a doula on the side. A little like Phoebe off Friends. Likely to get on well with...
...The Party Animal
Brace yourselves! The party animal is coming on the hen weekend. Every hen do has one; the girl who gets on it from the word go and laughs in the face of a nap. She might be a bit much at points but she'll get you all in the club for free and magically produce a bottle of champagne when you've run out of cash. When you're all broken on the final day and secretly looking forward to sleeping in your own beds, she'll step off the plane, smash a couple of energy drinks, call a friend and hit the pub. She can't help it; it's in her DNA. Think Rihanna meets Prince Harry.
Date Posted: Wednesday 3rd August 2016 Author: Jenna Halford
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