Six Stages Of A Hen Hangover

This is how it's going to go ladies...the dreaded hen party hangover.

In a woman’s life, some things are inevitable; owning an obscene amount of shoes, having hair disasters and being hungover on a hen weekend! Sorry to be the bearer of bad news ladies, but there’s no escaping a hangover on your weekend away, it comes with the territory. 

Imagine your typical night out with the girls and times it by ten, you should then get somewhere near to understanding the scale of a hen party. With such partying, comes the consequential hangover, so allow us to mentally prepare you for what’s to come. 


The first sign that the hangover process is in full swing will happen when you first wake up and your mouth is bone dry! If you’re smart, you will have put a glass of water next to the bed before going to bed, otherwise you will be hunting for one. 

It’s hard to understand how your mouth can be so dry yet taste of last night’s countless cocktails and endless bottles of wine. Once you’ve gulped a load of water, it’ll be time to give your teeth a brush, especially as you won’t have been in a fit state to do so last night. 


It might take a good few minutes for your eyes to fully open, but once they do you realise that your handbag isn’t next to your bed. The fear sets in! You can’t remember anything post 11pm from last night – it could be anywhere!

This is where we advise you take a deep breath – it’s probably somewhere in your room. You eventually find it, and it appears that at some point last night it was a good idea to rearrange it; your lipstick is uncovered and loose change covers the bottom of your bag! Lastly, you find your phone in the bed covers and question last night’s google search history. 


If you haven’t already shot out of bed to turn the bedroom upside down or brush your teeth, you need to get your sorry arse out of bed. There’s round two of the hen weekend to get underway! Go sort yourself out in the bathroom and take off last night’s makeup that’s smeared across your face. 

It will feel as if you have aged about 100 years when you first get up and the room starts to spin. You know that one of the organised girls will have come stocked with paracetamol and ibuprofen – time to ask for one! 


Now, this next stage of the hangover can go one of two ways. Going for food will sound like heaven or hell, dependant on the person. 

All of your hen party cities will be full of local cafes serving fellow hungover hens, so we recommend heading to one of these. Go for something that’s not going to be too unsettling on the stomach, you can’t go wrong with a good old fashioned bacon sandwich! Then wash it down with a nice glass of juice and coffee to give you that boost of energy you require! 


This is perhaps the worst part of the hangover stage and is likely to take place over your breakfast. Stories from last night will begin to circulate around the table as you hear that the bride’s mother had her head in the stripper’s crotch. But, what stories will surface about yourself?

You’ll hear about bars you went to that you didn’t even know existed. Feel your cheeks go red as you hear about the slut drop you performed on the dance floor. You then check your phone to see if you sent THAT risky text! 


After your heart rate has returned to its normal self after the trauma of reliving last night’s events, it’s time to get ready to do it all again. 

Sweep the soft drinks aside and get a few bottles of prosecco ordered. That first glass may take some getting down, but once you do, you and your bride tribe will be ready to embark on day two of your hen weekend! 

Struggling to choose where to go and what to do on your hen weekend? Allow Off Limits Hen Weekends to do all the dirty work for you.

To learn more about Off Limits Hen Weekends and how they can help you, get in touch with the team today.

Phone: 01773 766 000



Twitter: @offlimitshen 

Instagram: @olhenweekends 

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Date Posted: Thursday 18th May 2017

Author: Jenna Halford

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